Slithering Reptile... How the mighty have fallen!

I was once a marauding marsupial. Proud! ...Proud!...

I had a pouch and everything... You should have seen me hop!

God!... Slithering! Like a villain in a Harry Potter movie!

If anybody knows where this should go from here, let me know.
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Mustard: Morehouse Mayo-Honey that my mother-in-law bought at a dollar store. It's from Canada, but it's good stuff.
Mustard accessory: wife's meat-loaf, which was excellent plain, but even better with this mustard. Better than ketchup.