My sister is harassing me.

She sent me these jokes:

Subject: SHORT ONE'S FOR WOMEN

One day the housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," the wife responds. "What does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

And they say blondes are dumb...
______________________

A couple is lying in bed.. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world".

The woman says, "I'll miss you..."
_______________________
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money,"she replied.
_______________________

He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I have
wanted to make love to you really badly.

She said - Well, you succeeded.
_______________________

He said - What have you been doing with all the
grocery money I gave you?

She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
______________________

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor
_______________________

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th Wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a very special wish.

The wife wished for a trip around the world with her
husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.

The man wished for a female companion 30 years
younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!

Gotta love that fairy!
_________________

AND THE BEST ONE YET... A WOMAN'S PERFECT
BREAKFAST:
* She's sitting at the table with her gourmet
coffee.
* Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
* Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
* Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
* And her husband is on the back of the milk carton
---------------------------------------------------------
A PRAYER.... Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to
understand my man;
Love To forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN.

When you reach the end of your rope--- find another one and keep climbing upwards!