I was going to brag about having written the most in-depth article

you're likely to see on the Modern Pentathlon, but this one might be better:

Russian pitches games, tries to save sport
8/24/2004, 12:19 p.m. ET
By BRIAN MURPHY
The Associated Press

Points directly bearing on the Pentathlon:

The IOC...may vote on proposals to drop some Olympic sports. The three most likely — baseball, softball and modern pentathlon — escaped the ax this year and will remain at least until 2008. But it was just a reprieve, not a full pardon. There's pressure to buff up the Olympic schedule with sports appealing to the youth market coveted by sponsors and television advertisers.
...
The whole idea is attributed to French Baron Pierre de Coubertin, who helped revive the Olympics in 1896. Its inspiration was the pentathlon of the ancient games with a turn-of-the-century twist: an event intended to recreate the skills needed for a mounted military courier fighting to get a message through hostile territory.

Competitors fire at targets with a 4.5-millimeter air pistol; engage in fencing duels with epees; swim 200 meters; run three kilometers and ride a horse over a course with 12 obstacles. One more thing: The horses are picked at random and rider and steed have just 20 minutes to get acquainted.

In the first modern pentathlon in the 1912 Games, an American second lieutenant — George S. Patton — finished fifth. [Not the biggest newsmaker in the event that year. Ed.] Accounts say he was bumped from the medal group by poor marksmanship. In 1968, the sport briefly made news when a Swedish competitor was dropped after showing up drunk.

There is an effort to "sex it up".

The secretary-general of the sport's international federation, Joel Bouzou, said officials have come up with plans for a triathlon-style event. Four athletes will race directly from one discipline to the next. The winner moves on to the next round.

"It is very intense," he said. "In 20 minutes you will see a full pentathlon."

I've loved it ever since I heard of it. But "there ain't none around here." I'd like to find a Dude Ranch where an old geezer could go to learn to do this stuff, but I can't find anything. No help at usapentathlon.org, though they seem to be making rapid progress on their new website. I imagine they'd like to have it up and running by tomorrow.