Well, if you're sick and tired

of "the whips and scorns of time,
Th' oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay," etc.,
sheathe that bare bodkin and submerge your consciousness in this:

Sausage-eating dog outsprints horse
From correspondents in London
June 3, 2004

A PERENNIAL bar-room debate among sports fans has finally been settled as a one-off inter-species race in Britain saw a top racehorse embarrassed by a retired, sausage-eating greyhound.

The 400m race at Kempton Park racecourse, just north of London, saw six-year-old horse Tiny Tim face off against canine hopeful Simply Fabulous, two years older and thus definitely middle-aged in dog years.

Tiny Tim entered the race as the bookmakers' clear favourite but was humbled on the track, with Simply Fabulous sprinting away to clinch the race by seven horse lengths - or around 15 dog lengths.

Thanks to Dave Barry and Catholic Packer Fan who led me to him via his links.