Monday, March 28, 2011

But back to Naomi Aldort

I thought I'd quote a bit from the intro to Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves:
When you have the courage to stop defending the way you are, or the way your parents raised you, you can open up to the possibility that you are much greater and more magnificent and capable than you thought you were.


lisak said...

It's a good quote.

lisak said...

Through the years of working to raise our children I found that love worked the best. When one of my kids acted out I found that if I stopped and gave them one on one attention it worked wonders in their behavior.

Al said...

Oh, man! I'm sorry! I've been a bit busy lately.

Thank you! You're dead right. That's probably the main thing I do right, and it's one that'll displace a lot of wrong things one could be doing instead.

a person said...

Are you aware that Aldort has disclaimed her Ph.D.

There is a discussion regarding this action at the Amazon page for the book Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves:

Al said...

Your information is accurate.

I'm not sure if I had considered her credentials important. Her official credentials. Her advice surely is important.

Why do you feel the need to bring it up here?

a person said...

Thanks for posting the comment Al. I mention Aldort's disavowal of her Ph.D. and psychologist credential here in hopes that other parents like myself will find the information and determine how it effects the impact of Aldort's writings and speeches on their lives.

When I first read Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves, it triggered some deep hurt over child abuse that I had experienced growing up but that had never been addressed. In this state, I found some of Aldort's work to deepen my profound disconnect with joyful parenting, rather than the reverse.

Because I believed she was a psychologist, I thought the problems must all lie within myself. Extremely naive yes, but not out-of-line for a first time parent going to school full time at night in the beginning throes of what would later be diagnosed as PTSD. And it is also in line with much of what Aldort writes.

When I first searched the internet to see if there were other parents who had a reaction similar to mine, blogs, book reviews and discussions were virtually all "roses" about Naomi Aldort.

When reading through the book a second time after I had received some treatment for PTSD, I even contacted Aldort directly to talk about her background and credentials as I was considering recommending her work for open discussion among a few parents I know. Aldort declined.

There are many statements that Aldort writes that are not in keeping with contemporary psychology. I think parents should know that. It's fine for Aldort to write them, but I think her use of the Ph.D., psychologist, and family therapist title in the past has influenced people to accept her work without questioning it's validity.

Just because it sounds good or resonates, that doesn't mean it's an appropriate way to parent. As well, just because psychologists say something is healthy today, that doesn't mean it is, or that they will say it is tomorrow. Aldort is clearly not the only parenting expert who makes statements that are unsupported and that readers are welcome to accept or discard, but Aldort's use of the Ph.D. and psychologist title when she did not hold a credible degree or license is something I believe parents and new readers should be aware of.

Al said...

Aldort doesn't deal with the hurts of the parent, it's true. Alice Miller is the one to go to for advice about that.

I think it's wonderful that you are wise enough to seek advice at all from greater experts than the granfalloon in which chance placed you.