Steve's got a great post [What? Only one?]

at Grandpa John's. No, there's more than one.

But here's a taste of the one that made me post:

We have been busily preparing for the season diligently. We have stockpiled food and water, batteries, a generator with biofuel, and other necessities. We have plenty of plywood to protect our windows from the incumbent missles. In case the storm surge reaches Southern Wisconsin, we have a wide variety of flotation and breathing devices. We also have stockpiled a large arsenal of weapons and ammunition to protect ourselves from any marauding bands of Conservatives that we will surely encounter in the aftermath.

It doesn't stop there, read on.