Did you have any doubt?

I am a
92%DRUNKARD

Looking for payday loan?

Of course, you don't need to know the history and provenance of every alcoholic beverage to be a drunkard or alcoholic, you just have to drink them.

And here's another important "fact" about me, that I'm sure has been tested empirically
30
Not randomly chosen five-year-olds I'm sure. Only kids with a big-enough "Why?"